Did you know that less than 50% of couples experiencing marriage issues bother to attend any form of marriage counseling before they opt to divorce? But those who opt for marriage counseling can hugely benefit from it.

Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment where both partners vow to stick with each other for the rest of their lives. Ordinarily, your partner’s face is the first thing you should be seeing each morning when you wake up as long as you are in marriage.

Unfortunately, not all marriages fulfill the “till death do us part” mantra. Along the way, the partners realize they are the wrong combination. They soon determinately seek the exit door. Once one of the partners has suggested a divorce, it’s often all systems go because the other partner would not want to hold on to what the other is willing to discard. After all, it takes two to tangle.

If your marriage has reached a point where you believe (individually or mutually) that divorce is the best way out, here are the reasons you should first seek marriage counseling Rye, NY before making any move:

1. Counseling Helps You Clear Your Head

How sure are you that divorce is the only way out of your marriage problems? Chances are, you are not too sure. You are in a dilemma. You have settled on divorce because it’s the easy part under the circumstances.

However, a couple of marriage counseling sessions may prove otherwise. It will clear your head to see things as they are, not as your emotions have created them. Whether you will still proceed to divorce after the marriage therapy or not, at least you are now well-informed because a marriage counselor will have taught you how to handle the current marriage hiccups.

Indeed, many couples seek counseling help but still end up divorcing. The good thing is that they are now clear-headed. Nobody would later accuse them of not fighting to save their marriage.

2. Counseling Helps You Heal

Sometimes, the only reason a couple is divorcing is because of the issue of infidelity. The hurt partner is just too angry to stay in the marriage for one more day. They want a divorce now. There may also be other serious issues that have caused deep pain to one or both of the partners, and they are not able to bear the presence of each other.

Counseling sessions help such couples see eye to eye and start a healing process that may eventually save their marriage. Getting a place to vent and face these pains head-on will gradually get the bitter feelings off their chests, creating room for reconciliation.

3. Counseling Helps Couples Regain Trust 

By just sitting down together before a marriage counselor to discuss their marriage issues, spouses have an opportunity to rebuild the lost trust between them. One of the reasons couples opt to divorce is due to lost trust. Nobody no longer believes what the other is saying, or is up to.

But with a professional mediator between them, the partners can speak their minds and hearts out like they did once dating. This rekindling of the good old days has the power to revive a failing marriage. Marriage counseling in Rye, NY, can help you and your partner regain trust in each other.

4. Counseling Helps You Understand the Other

Chances are, you want a divorce because you don’t seem to understand your partner anymore. They are not what they used to be. Or it’s the other way round: they don’t understand you anymore, no matter how hard you try to explain yourself.

A marriage counselor can create just the right environment for you two to talk calmly and freely. You can iron out issues that threaten to tear the marriage apart smoothly. You will start to appreciate your partner’s struggles and see yourself from their perspective.

Even in the event that resolving these issues is not possible, the mutual understanding created will help you go through divorce with peace. The last thing you want is to be at war with each other, even during the divorce proceedings.

5. Learning Relationship Skills

If you don’t understand your partner anymore, chances are you don’t know how to relate to them anymore. One unexpected outcome of a marriage counseling session is that you can learn how to deal with your partner’s emotional needs. Are they aggressive, repulsive, or bossy? Well, there may be a way to communicate with them whenever they lose their temper or want to be alone.

Maybe your partner feels you do not love them enough anymore and so needs you to be more affectionate to save your marriage. The marriage counselor can teach you how to achieve these needs.

6. Learning Parenting Styles

Could you be divorcing because one of you is not a good parent to the children? If your partner came into the marriage with children from a previous relationship(s), you may have difficulty relating with these stepchildren. Maybe you feel they don’t respect or recognize you, or you are simply having a hard time learning how to accept them as part of the family.

Marriage counseling may help you handle such parenting issues. At times, you are having trouble with your very biological children and it’s affecting your relationship with your spouse. Discussing this with a marriage counselor before opting to divorce may solve the problems at hand and stop the need for a divorce. All you need could be parenting skills, not a divorce lawyer.

7. Establish Post-Divorce Communication

A divorce is not always the end of communication, especially when children are involved. Remember, the children will still need both of you. You must learn to cooperate with your ex to give the children the support and care they need. One parent should not take all the responsibilities.

When you are determined to divorce, marriage counseling in Rye, NY, will guide you on ways you and your spouse can establish post-divorce communication.

8. Setting the Terms of Divorce

Where the marriage cannot be saved, a marriage counselor can help the couple understand the consequences of divorce. Remember, each marriage is unique. Some have children involved, even stepchildren. Other times, one of the partners is terminally ill or is facing imprisonment.

A marriage counselor will discuss these issues and help the couple reach agreements or divorce terms that are best for them under the circumstances. 

Wrapping It Up

One bonus point: engaging a marriage counselor gives you emotional support as you grow through a trying moment in your marriage. Yes, a marriage counselor can give you a shoulder to lean on when no one else understands you.